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Rope Suspension and Driving – response to an analogy

I really enjoyed reading the OP and the comments. The analogy of driving and rope suspension rings true to me. They are both very mental and physical acts, requiring study, instruction, and practiced muscle memory.

Both driving and rope suspension and shibari can go badly wrong with the slightest accident or error in judgement. For instance, assuming the other side of the blind corner has a stop sign, and just plowing through, can lead to a fatal accident.

Or, a green light ahead at an intersection DOES NOT mean that all the cars are stopped and patiently waiting, especially in Houston. Assuming they are can get you killed.

Fear that making an error in driving judgment should not keep you from driving, however, but it should make you always conscious of your own potential to err, and the probability of others’ erring.

Similarly, there has to be a constant internal monitor in rope suspension considering everything that can go wrong, and then realizing everything CAN ABSOLUTELY go wrong despite your most careful attention.

I’ll bet other rope tops have come to the very pleasant realization that tying a TK and staying on the ground is so much more fun, sensual, connecting than constantly worrying about potential disaster that can happen in suspension.

After a Nerve and Joint clinic with @MissDoctor we were visiting about how dangerous the TK was. This could happen, that could happen, permanent injury could occur. One of the newer people in the group mentioned that they would NEVER tie a TK because it would cause injury.

Someone else said, “You know, we’re just talking about suspension, right?”.

Oh, yeah. A TK is very safe ON THE GROUND. All the rope incident reports have one thing in common: suspension.

Just because you CAN suspend, doesn’t mean you SHOULD.

Rope suspension is a very dangerous athletic activity. Other analogies are pole-vaulting, football, skiing, race-car driving, diving, parachuting, parkour, skate-boarding, acrobatics, etc.

The rope bottom has to be just as skilled as the rope top.

I have veered off my basic premise, which was appreciating the analogy promulgated by the OP, so I’ll just close it here. Thanks for the great post.

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Witnessing an intense tickling scene

I have to agree that is indeed a great story.

I witnessed a tickling scene that affected me emotionally it was so intense and amounted to a type of torture that contrasted markedly with the serene shibari rope suspension scenes that I am used to.

The young lady (whom I had recently met and consider a friend) was strapped to a tickle board by leather straps at her ankles, knees, waist, above her breasts. Her legs were spread wide.

Her arms were up to either side of her head, strapped at her elbows and wrists. There was no leather strap at her throat, and she was not gagged.

The tickling started at her feet at first very slowly and moved up. Apparently, the person who had negotiated for the tickling scene knew exactly what he was doing.

Soon she was writhing in agony, screaming and gasping for breath, completely pinned by her straps, which had no give whatsoever. The actual tickling continued for a full 45 minutes. The tickler was extremely skilled, bring her to extreme peaks and then allowing her to recover, so that the tickling could begin again.

I was genuinely concerned for her well-being and safety, but we were in a venue where safeword protocols were strictly in place, and there was had no indication that she had called a safeword.

Her arms were unstrapped, and then her wrists were strapped together and pulled up above her head, exposing her underarms. As the tickling continued, she began to jerk in a convulsive manner barely able to scream.

Finally, it stopped. She was slowly unstrapped and taken to a nearby bed for aftercare. She was clearly exhausted; totally spent. I think she received excellent aftercare that allowed her to return to reality and physically recuperate at least partially from the ordeal.

I had to question my own reaction. I was emotionally completely spent – I felt she had been taken extreme advantage of, even though there was no safewording and I knew the scene had been carefully negotiated. Thus, I couldn’t square my feeling she had been taken advantage of with what I knew to be the structure of negotiation and consent that was in place.

I would say my experience with this type of scene (as an onlooker) is moderate to advanced. I have watched very intense impact scenes, and I adore shibari.

This tickling scene, however, was the most torturous scene I have ever witnessed.

I kept my emotions inside, hopefully, appropriately so. I contacted my friend afterward and expressed my concern, but didn’t receive an answer.

One of the things we say here is “Go get a cookie”. I was not a DM there, just an onlooker. I never heard a safeword, either a “yellow” much less a “red”. They say if a scene is too intense for you as an onlooker, go get a cookie. This indeed was my “go get a cookie” moment.

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Mechanical lifting advantage: Jute or Hemp?

(posted in the “shibari” group on Fetlife 8/10/2018)

When lifting either partial or full body weight, using a ring, and an Austrailian bight, I have never had difficulty achieving reasonable lift without using carabiners or pulleys. I had been using jute, which has been well treated and used over the past year or so, but not at all worn out.

Recently, I have had experiences where I was pulling up a hip harness, after a TK was locked off, and haven’t been able to achieve lift. Things just seemed stuck. I carefully examined the ropes I was pulling up on, and the rope that went down to the Y-attachment to the hip harness, making sure it was not jammed in any way, and everything seemed good, but I wasn’t getting the “mechanical advantage” of lift.

The weight/size of my bottoms has been not a factor in this difficulty. I am a fairly strong and fit person.

Then, it occurred to me that I had switched from jute to hemp for my uplines, reasoning that hemp is higher rated for strength. That switch was where this problem first began.

Is this a thing? Hemp is more “floppy” and “frictiony”. Maybe the jute, which is stiffer, lends itself to achieving this mechanical advantage.

(Note that I never, ever, ever rely on a single line to lift a tying partner!)

I am really loth to use mechanical devices, like carabiners or pulleys near the body, and stick to strictly natural Japanese technique. The downside of using these devices is obvious from a safety standpoint – they release suddenly and catastrophically. (Of course, I know it’s always up to me to keep the “brakes” on).

I frequently tie on a single right, using 3 – 4 uplines. I want to be able to easily raise/lower and then raise again any part of the body, or the entire body, confidently and smoothly, so the experience of my partner is serene and fulfilling.

Should I go back to jute for uplines?

Has anyone else had difficulty with hemp achieving mechanical lifting advantage or should I look somewhere else for the problem?

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Rope Drop – dealing with it

Call it rope drop, bottom drop, top drop (this one rhymes!) whatever you call it, it’s a real bummer!

Have you ever had this happen?

(switching to 2nd person writing, which I almost never do)

You go to a weeknight tying event.  You meet a great friend a do a scene onstage.  You’re in a great mood, she’s in a great mood. The rope co-operates, the scene is hot, the patterns work well, and the imagination is firing on all cylinders.  Suspensions work, ground-play works, you have a great connection and intimacy, both sexy and fun! So much laughing, enjoyment, and pure bliss!

It’s a great night!  Great pictures, compliments from onlookers, you’re on cloud 9, and so is your partner!

Sure, you’re out a little late, but there was no alcohol involved and you feel great the next morning – you practically wake up glowing.  That next day you exchange texts with your rope partner about the great time and talk about which ties you liked best and how wonderful the whole night was.  All the next day, you are practically floating! Continue reading “Rope Drop – dealing with it”