Sometimes it’s fun to play in an “uncontrolled” environment – no dungeon monitors, unvetted guests, vanillas, alcohol, drugs, shaky and uncertain equipment, hosts without knowledge of the scene, gawkers completely unschooled in kink, insufficient space for backswings, loud music so you can’t hear your sub (well that’s usual anyway), horrible lighting (well that’s usual anyway).
It makes the play edgier, give the top WAY more to handle. Dealing with a boorish aggressive drunk is probably the most difficult of challenges. I have tied in semi-vanilla settings, but I had a great tripod, which formed kind of a natural perimeter. My difficulty not a drunken male, but a drunken femme friend of my “pick-up” sub, who was perfectly sober, had her own shibari hemp and wanted a suspension experience. Another actor in the scene was her boyfriend, also sober who had participated in our pre-scene negotiations.
The scene started off very well, the tying went well, and her rope was from the same rope company (DeGiotto) that I use, so I knew it’s length and properties very well. We were kneeling, and I had just finished her TK (she was going into sub-space) and was tying on her uplines when her girlfriend came up, smoking (yuk), and started talking to her and gave her a smoke. Naturally, I was stunned and horrified.
(Oh, this was a predominantly gay country-western bar on the outskirts of Houston and there were at least 60 people in close proximity to the tripod).
My sub handled this – coming out of subspace, she politely told her friend to step back – I was very grateful. She (and I) regained our composure and got her into the air in an easy face-down TK “donkey-kick”. My sub was deep in bottom-space, swinging easily and securely without stress. I did a hair-tie back to her ankles for a sort of suspended hogtie. She was up an easy 10 minutes, with frequent checks of grip, wrist strength, etc.
This was one of the few times where I felt like my check-ins interfered with my bottom’s sub-space. She had a body that was made for suspension and all the TK ropes fell in good places. It was just a great tie where everything worked out the first time.
I decided it was time to bring her down and back to reality.
I got her down and seated, still very much in space, and sure enough, here comes her friend, smoking of course! Chatter, chatter, chatter. “oh my god, that was so great, can I try it, can I try it”. I told her yes, but we needed to finish. She wouldn’t step back, so I blindfolded my sub with a Japanese tengu (which I didn’t make it back home with) and that helped right away.
Many unschooled vanillas think that as soon as you come down, or stop impact, the scene is over.
My sub didn’t want to be taken out of her TK (she was tied in her ropes, after all). We had a very minimum of aftercare (like 5 minutes). I sent her off with her boyfriend and untied her about 10 minutes later.
My mistakes:
1. not insisting she be fully untied before I relinquished “custody” of her. If she had tripped or somehow hurt herself, it would definitely have been my fault. She was fine, sober, but in retrospect, this was my biggest blunder. A friend pointed this out to me afterward, for which I am grateful.
2. not appointing her boyfriend as a dungeon monitor. He was sober and sitting close by in a chair watching the whole scene. He just had not been given instructions by me to guard the play space.
3. tying there in the first place. Well, it was a rope event, and it was fun, the sub enjoyed it, her boyfriend enjoyed it, and I’ll bet her smoking and inebriated friend enjoyed it, too. Pick-up play is high-risk. Oh, I enjoyed it.
4. not establishing a “perimeter” with rope, bystanders, etc. I could have easily done this.
5. I’m used to tying in protected environments – defined play spaces, dungeon monitors, knowledgeable bystanders, sturdy equipment, people who know CPR and first aid, etc.
Would I do it again? Absolutely! It was one of my best scenes ever. I wish I knew the bottom’s name – I’m not even sure she’s on Fetlife. She was wonderful, her boyfriend was polite and respectful, and they were both grateful for the scene, and so was I.