Rope as a conversation – a response to a post.

@nuitdetokyo – Quoting: “is precisely so that the model keeps being surprised, keeps resisting, and finally show some Eros at the end of the tie, or laugh at you because, as the bakushi, you lost the fight.”

This is so true in my way of thinking. If rope is a conversation, as @barkas so effectively exposes in “Archeology of Personalities: a linguistic approach to erotic rope bondage “

Archeology of Personalities by Barkas

then why have a boring conversation? This is very advanced, of course, assuming skill and vetting on the part of the rigger, and skill and vetting on the part of the rope partner – this almost bleeds into the arena of Consent/Non-Consent.

Imagine this conversation between two people who know each other well:

Shall we have dinner?
Yes, I would love to.
Then let us have dinner.
Yes, let’s.


An alternate conversation:

Shall we have dinner?
Have you no other ideas?
But it’s time for dinner.
Always the same thing.
OK, so you want something different, let’s do this …

Much more interesting. Some conflict, we know something is going to happen besides “dinner”.

Of course, if the bottom is in a very submissive head-space, pushing back, resisting, challenging may not be what she (he) is about right then, but whether a submissive head-space or a challenging head-space, it’s the duty of the top (bakushi as in the article) to provide interest, surprise, and, as the article says, the EROS.

I so clearly remember my English teacher, when we all in the class were going to give our reports on “Moby Dick”. Her instructions were this: “Don’t BORE me”!

So, can a top “lose a fight”? Yes, if he follows a script, follows a pattern that was pre-set forth with no variance that the bottom know by heart, he will “lose the fight”.

Will the bottom think to herself, “Yep, there’s the TK, I guess it’s OK, (but gosh, I felt like he was tying a mannequin!) yep, there’s the hip harness. Why is he hesitating? Is he trying to remember how to do it? What, no crotch-rope? Come on! He’s really kind of clinical. Why am I not feeling the joy here? So, what’s next? The upline from the TK? Yep, right on cue. Has he even looked at me in the eyes? Maybe I should start resisting, or give him a kick while I’m still on the ground? Would he quickly tie my ankles and pull them up, spank me, gag me? No, I don’t think so. I’ll give him a chance – I’ll kick him and see if there’s any fire in him!” ?

The above imaginary train of though by the bottom would not have even happened if, from the first moment of touch, the top did something surprising, like turning her around to face him, looking her in the eyes, and with his right hand, pulled her left hand down, holding her at the nape of her neck, before turning her around and locking her arms in the TK position.

No THAT is the start of a conversation, and a potentially beautiful one. The bottom would be reacting to the top’s interesting actions, rather than thinking “oh, here we go again”.

The bottom may not actually “laugh at him” for “losing the fight” – but the top will have in fact failed in the conversation. He will have contributed nothing, and there will be no EROS.

Missing an opportunity in a rare and precious conversation involving rope to create magic, surprise and EROS is a terrible sin.